


life is momentous, indeed

by bruadarxch



Category: Anne with an E (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Getting Together, Idiots in Love, dramatic confessions in the sunset, gilbert gets his shit together, i'm just that bitch, it's almost 6am and i don't regret anything, nobody proposes to people they don't love because that's a stupid thing to do, post 3x08
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-11
Updated: 2019-11-11
Packaged: 2021-01-27 12:03:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21391843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bruadarxch/pseuds/bruadarxch
Summary: "She turns around trying to wipe off her tears and there he is, galloping down Lovers’ Lane in his horse, like a brooding hero in a romance novel. Bastard."Anne mopes and Gilbert finally does what he has to do.
Relationships: Gilbert Blythe/Anne Shirley
Comments: 53
Kudos: 522





	life is momentous, indeed

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sleep deprived and still unable to process 3x08. This is unedited. You're welcome.

_“I don’t understand what’s holding you back”_

_“Just… one thing.”_

Anne shakes her head trying to ignore the intrusive thought. _He’s made his decision and you’re happy for him, _she tells herself. And it’s the truth. She is, really. Even though _yes_, she feels a pang in her chest whenever she thinks of Winifred with her perfect hair and her perfect face and her perfect family and her perfect opportunities and her perfect hand holding the perfect hand of the perfect boy Anne is in love with. _Okay, maybe not completely happy, but happy enough._

With a sigh she resumes her wander down Lover’s Lane—the irony is not lost to her—and completely fails to _not _think about it. She whispers her sorrows to the trees around her, always her trusted confidants. She wonders if Gilbert has done it yet. _Proposing. _It almost sounds like a foreign word—something sacred, something for older people, something big enough that the mere thought of it sends shivers down her spine and leaves her feeling utterly unprepared for an unknown future.

She wonders how Gilbert did it. _Did he take Winifred out for dinner? Did he give her a troth ring like the heroes in her novels? Did he kneel?_ If she wasn’t on the verge of tears she could giggle at the thought of Gilbert Blythe kneeling and declaring his undying love in front of a woman. _A woman_. It feels like they’re playing pretend at adulthood, it just doesn’t feel real. Anne simply can’t believe Gilbert is going to get married and move to Paris when she just barely feels mature enough to start college in Charlottetown. Scratch that, she doesn’t even feel prepared for that, but there’s no turning back now and the world _clearly _won’t change itself, dammit! And she can certainly change it without the help of Gilbert Blythe and his stupid unwavering support.

Oh, who is she trying to kid. She may not feel like a grown woman yet, and she most certainly isn’t ready to think about being _engaged_, but she certainly knows there will always be a gap in her life shaped like Gilbert Blythe. Of that she is sure. She will put on a brave face when the happy couple come to Avonlea to share the happy news. She will smile and congratulate them and tell Winifred she wishes her the happiest of futures. She will wish him the very best in his educational endeavours, and she will let him go. But she misses him now and she will miss him her entire life, even if she knows she can take the world by storm on her own. After all, he was the one who said they make a great team, wasn’t he?

As the sun starts to sink lower in the horizon and pink and orange hues start to appear in the blue Avonlea sky, Anne sits down under her favorite maple tree. She stares at the sunset, deep in her thoughts. _You’ll be okay_, she repeats to herself, trying to make it feel like the truth. _You’ll be happy because he’ll be happy. You’ll both achieve your dreams, and that will make all the heartache worth it. _Maybe if she says it enough she’ll start to believe it, and maybe by the time she has to actually face him she won’t burst into tears. She will allow herself this one evening to cry and to mourn an impossible future. To imagine what could’ve been if they had been older and she had been ready. To imagine late studying sessions and walks around his orchard and confessions under the stars and a white dress and flowers in her hair and a little house down by the shore and a shared studio with hundreds of books and two desks. The tears that are now pooling in her eyes will be the last tears Anne will ever shed for Gilbert Blythe. Tomorrow she’ll say goodbye, but today she hides away and tries to let herself be soothed by the quietness of nature.

And then she hears a horse approaching.

She barely has time to feel annoyed by the interruption of her perfectly valid pity party when she hears him.

“Anne!”

_Gilbert?_

She turns around trying to wipe off her tears and there he is, galloping down Lovers’ Lane in his horse, like a brooding hero in a romance novel. _Bastard. _This is _so _not fair. She stares at him in shock as he approaches her. His eyes find hers and he doesn’t look away as he dismounts, and she curses her luck because _why on earth does he always have to find her when she’s a complete and utter mess? _There’s no use trying to make herself look presentable now, so she swallows the lump in her throat and stares right back at him.

“You’re back early,” she states, mild surprise in her voice.

“I… yeah, I am,” he hesitates. She’s trying to know what kind of news he bears, but his expression is unreadable.

“Did…” she looks away for a moment, “did you have a pleasant time in Charlottetown?”

If Gilbert is surprised by her sudden forced politeness, he doesn’t show it.

“More or less,” he retorts. She looks back at him and he can feel the tension building between them. This is familiar. This is the part where she looks into his hazel eyes and feels the weight of all human emotion travel like an electric current through her whole body. This is the part where she sees a hint of that same electricity in his gaze, and her mind whispers _he feels it too._ This is the part where panic sets and she runs away.

Today she’s tired of running.

“How is Winifred?” she asks sincerely. No more passive aggressivity. Even if he caught her drowning in the depths of despair, she has already decided to respect his choices. He deserves that much from her.

“She’s, uh… okay I guess,” this time he looks away, staring at the floor almost embarrassed. “Probably not too happy with me right now.”

Anne’s eyebrows shoot up. That’s unexpected.

“Why is that?” she asks with genuine curiosity.

“I cancelled our dinner plans last minute,” he shrugs. “I guess that’s not very polite.”

“Why did you cancel them? Is everyone okay? Bash said you’d probably stay the night in the city, uh, celebrating,” she tries not to wince with mixed results. Gilbert takes a sharp inbreath and looks like he’s mentally cursing his so-called brother.

“Everyone’s fine, I just…” he looks back up into her eyes and she can see a pained expression in them this time, “I forgot something.”

Before she can ask what he forgot—and before she can ask him whether he forgot the troth ring—he reaches into the front pocket of his suit jacket and produces a pen.

_Her pen._

She stares at it, taken aback. Of all things, this was the last she could’ve expected.

“You forgot my pen?” she asks with clear confusion in her voice.

“I forgot to give it back,” he clarifies. “You lent it to me and I forgot to give it back.”

“It’s… okay?” Anne is _definitely_ confused now. “Gilbert, it’s just a pen. You didn’t have to run back from Charlottetown and cancel your evening with Winifred.”

“Yes, I did,” he says resolutely, and the intensity of his eyes is making Anne question his sanity.

“I don’t underst—"

“I’m in love with you, Anne,” he cuts her off.

Anne’s breath catches and she feels a tingling sensation go from the tips of her hair down to her toes. “Wh-what?!”

“I’m sorry I put you in a difficult position that night… after the entrance exams,” he says, taking a step towards her. “I… I was confused and overwhelmed by what Winifred’s father had offered, and then I saw you dancing in front of the fire and I… I _knew_, but I was a coward, and I cornered you when you were in no position to give me a clear answer, and I used it as an excuse to go the easy way and try to convince myself there was nothing between us. I’m so sorry, Anne.”

Anne, maybe for the first time in her life, is speechless. (Being reduced to a blabbering mess while being somewhat inebriated does _not _count.) Gilbert takes the opportunity to keep talking.

“I was going to do it. I was going to propose to Winifred even though I _know _I don’t love her just because it was easy. And then right before picking her up for our dinner I reached into my pocket to make sure the ring was there and I found your pen instead. And I remembered.”

“You remembered?” Anne asks with a choked voice. Gilbert’s eyes are boring into her, and she couldn’t run even if she wanted to. This is what Diana meant when she said life was momentous. This was their _moment_.

“I remembered I never liked easy anyway,” he says with a hopeful smile, and he takes her hand.

Anne feels like her heart is positively about to jump out of her body. A smile starts to stretch across her face and the tears that now fall freely down her cheeks are tears of joy. If their joined hands weren’t grounding her to the earth, her body would have already started to float and become part of the sunset behind them. However, she can’t help remembering the very real world and very real future that awaits the both of them.

“Gilbert… are you sure?” she asks with an impossibly small voice. “What about your dreams? What about the Sorbonne?”

“That’s not important,” he says resolutely.

“Of course it is!” she protests.

“Okay, maybe it _is_ important but it’s not worth it!” he insists. “I don’t want my dreams to cost me my whole life. My happiness.” He squeezes her hand and she can see a silent plead in his eyes.

“Gilbert I’m not ready to get married,” she says, not wanting to give him false hopes.

“Me neither, actually,” he grins. “I’d rather focus on my studies for a while. You may actually beat me at Queens if I don’t.” Anne rolls her eyes.

“What if you change your mind?” she can’t help but ask.

“I won’t.”

“What if you resent me?”

“Anne, I promise you I won’t,” they’ve been inching closer together inadvertently and Anne feels his breath on her cheek. It’s dizzying. “Just tell me there’s hope.”

“Hope?” she looks up with furrowed eyebrows.

“That you may feel that way too. Someday,” he’s looking at her with such vulnerability Anne is afraid he’ll crumble under her touch. “I can wait as long as you need, you have my word. But I won’t ever pressure you into saying anything just to spare my feelings, Anne.”

Of all the reactions Gilbert was expecting, Anne suddenly bursting into giggles wasn’t one of them.

“Anne?” he asks bewildered.

“_Spare your…_” Anne can’t even finish the sentence before more laughter cuts her off. “Gilbert, when have I _ever _been kind enough to _spare your feelings_. You must have forgotten our whole friendship.” She looks at him with crinkling eyes and a teasing smile.

“You may have a point,” he smirks. Then his expression softens. “But I stand by my words. You don’t have to say anything. I just… needed to clear the air.”

“Well, thank you for that,” she says sincerely, and she reaches up to place her hand on his cheek, “but I don’t think you’ll have to wait that long.”

“What?”

“Gilbert, I’m afraid I’m scandalously in love with you,” she grins.

The sheer happiness that emanates from Gilbert then is contagious and Anne laughs as he pulls her into a hug and then starts frantically kissing her hair and her forehead and her eyelids and her cheeks and her nose. It’s like all the years of pent up feelings are pouring out of him like a waterfall. Her heart is soaring, and then they’re staring at each other again, electricity buzzing between them, and she knows what’s coming. She knows, and she doesn’t run. Instead she puts her arms around Gilbert’s neck, and meets him halfway.

Her pen falls to the floor, forgotten.

Life is momentous, indeed.

**Author's Note:**

> SO. I guess that happened. I swear I was working on a new cutesy modern au but then these IDIOTS had to ruin it and made me write this after tonight's episode. feel free to yell with me about it on tumblr (@rootedbutfl0wing). Let me know what you think of this!! I should probably go to sleep now!!!


End file.
